I had not intended to blog at 3 in the morning but I do want to voice what I am about to write. Another reason to why I am blogging this is also to remind of myself of what I had learnt.
I have always been the type of girl who would laugh when a story is funny, cry when the story is sad or touching but never had I felt pain in my chest and tears not being able to freely flow due to it. It was like, feeling too much pain, surpassing the stay where tears could flow.
I had watched many movies, Korean dramas, I had read novels after novels (romance novels to be exact and in two languages too), laughed many laughs and cried many tears but it is my first to feel such pain, such pressure, such a feeling that I can’t really describe and cried tears that are different yet the same. The best I could describe it is that I was feeling pain. It’s the only thing I could find to describe it.
If you are wondering, what has happened to me?
Welcome to the Underworld has happened to me.
It is a fanfiction written by Con.template.
It revolves around two main characters named Choi Yoori and Kwon Tae Hyun in the Underworld and the struggles between two people and… love.
The characters are made up and the word fanfiction doesn’t do justice for it. It would be a fiction but then that doesn’t really do as well.
I would say that it’s an artwork.
Con.template had made me go through a journey full of humor, twists, friendship, loyalty, tragedy, triumphs, sadness and happiness and I can’t thank you (Con.template) enough for having posted your work online. This will be one of the very pieces that I will remember for a vey long time.
I had read remarkable fanfictions such as Undertones of Forever, Sunshower, Midnight City, Fist & Lipstick, Wedding Wrecker, Conversations between Us, The Bartender and the Beast, Joie de Vivre(joys of life) and so on. I had spent a lot of my time reading them until the wee hours in the morning, I enjoy them but after reading Welcome to the Underworld, I can say that it’s different from the rest. It might be just me but it does feel that Welcome to the Underworld IS different from the rest.
Just to let you know if you’re lost and wondering what on earth am I writing here.
I apologise for doing so. This post is actually mainly posted to be a reminder to me.
There’s also another thing you should know (for those who are going to continue reading what I am about to type) is that I’m the type of person that once I take up a novel to read, I would not put it down. Not if I HAVE to. In many cases when I was in the middle of a book (I would mean novel/story by that – it would never happen to me with a text book) and my parents are calling and bugging me to leave my room, my mood will be changed instantly and I’ll be an unpleasant person to meet... unless it was ultimately my choice of putting the book down for a break. I tend to immerse myself into the story, taking the journey together with the characters and grow with them throughout the story from beginning to the end.
So hopefully to those who had read my post until now, understands what kind of reader I am and the fact that I mentioned a few of the fanfics above means that they are actually good. Apart from that, I’m a communication student as well and I had taken a course on understanding media so I do know the few theories taught and I can understand the pieces wrote better than I used to.
Now that I had finished Welcome to the Underworld and had written about 650 words after reading it, I’m trying to find out the reason to why do I feel such feelings I mentioned earlier from reading the last chapters.
The part that I could think of is the fact that until today, I had not shown much love interest to the opposite gender. I had not thought about finding a partner, I had not thought of marriage, what more children. Friends around tells me about their love life and their wishes to find that special someone but I had not once shown interest. In terms of crushes, I had a few back in my school days but it only lasted for a short period of time(when I say short, it means real short).
I do wonder about it some time and the most bizarre thing that I thought was that I could be a lesbian. What other explanation could I get from thinking about the above? Especially right now that I am in Australia, it’s not a big issue being a lesbian here and people here are not afraid to show it. Then again if I were so then why do I read romance story one after another. It doesn’t seem right to me. Well, I am after all the weirdest in my group of friends….
Well, after reading welcome to the Underworld, I can say that i think I found the reason to what I had written 2 paragraphs up. I never did open myself up to love. My mother had timelessly ask me to leave my own bubble and face the world. I had been locked up safely in my own world, playing my own fantasy and never really did step out of it. It could be that Im afraid of it. I never experienced it and I couldn’t, wouldn’t dare go near it.
Reading about the love in Welcome to the Underworld had showed me that love is worth it despite the fact that it doesn't conquer all. Love is also about sharing and caring for another and I guess it will change a selfish person (like me). With what was said, I reckon I’d try finding Paris as well…..
It will take time. It’ll be hard for me as well to actually step out of my own world but as what Con.template had mentioned over and over again throughout her work, "No one said finding Paris would be easy; they only said it would be worth it."
To those who are curious and want to read Welcome to the Underworld, please head to http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=218805.
And to those who had read my post until here, I thank you. If you feel that I’m weird or even shocked at what I had written, I wont apologise as I had mentioned that this post is a reminder for me in the future so it’s a read at your own risk post. Hahahaha
If I were to put read at your own risk at the very top, you would read the whole post anyway knowing you. We’re just humans aren’t we? We do what we are especially told not to do except for certain cases. Some say curiosity kills the cat as well. Okay enough of this…
Before I end, I would like to thank Con.template once again for the beautiful piece that had changed/started to change my way of life.
And I wouldn’t forget to thank Jane and Jamie for getting me the chance to read Welcome to the Underworld. Thank you Jamie for the any good fanfics to read question and Jane for recommending it.
Khamsa Hamnida.
Arigatou Gozaimasu.
It’s pretty late so I’ll be ending this long winded post here.
“Have you found Paris?”
"You'll tell me what it feels like, right? When you find Paris?".
