i'm back.
well my mood isn't all that great... so expect the unexpected from me.
as what i had type for the title for this post,
i really mean it....
so many things had happened these past few days and i couldn't come on9
to rant out on all the stuff i have been going through...
so it's all stored in my heart, mind and soul.
naturally, as humans we all, after a few days will
cool off and be back to normal....
so in conclusion i'm a normal person...
i think...
by now, since i can update my blog,
and the stuff i wanted to talk about in the first place seem to have turn cold...
i dont have the feelings about what i happened then but only the memories are left...
so due to the current mood i'm having,
i'll just sort off let you guys in for a little bit....
to know bout some off the things that had been going on...
well, before i start,
i just want to let you guys know that i wont tell out the exact situation.
this is so that some wont get offended.
I never intended for this blog to be opened up to public...
as in not to let anyone i know read this but my mouth betrayed me...
i can't truly share out how i feel anymore and i have to think
first on wether what i am about to write is gonna offend anyone.
so here goes... and some of the things are related even though i may number it differently.
1. a few friends b'day falls on the same month. thats natural. pocket money for the month
is always not enough. suddenly starting from last moth, i had the urge to spend thus i started to spend A LOT. this leads to not enough money to get stuff for friend.
2. try to do a new friend surprise party. din turn out how it used to be. a friend did some thing and i felt hurt. didn think that tat person was sincere. i feel ppl pressuring me to spend more than i could. i would in the end spend or not spend money and feel guilty for not doing so.
3. dad meet up with some directors.something happened. * I so wanna blame what happened
on that director but i know that i'm to blame too.* now my conscions are kicking in
and i dont like it.
4. i din thought of this b4 but recently i did and it's frustrating me. some friend issue......
i feel grateful for them but there is the BUT. I also feel guilty that i did it to them and am still
doing so.... they had been there when i needed to get through something....
5. Studies!!!! the one and only problem i had to deal with for all the time.'
I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i never liked it and never will. no one does. this is what i hear.
i tried pushing myself but that effort never works..... i hate it!
studies going from bad to worse plus additional problem from situation number 3.
6. while writing this blog, mum came in.
tried to read it. hopefully she din manage to read it. *one of the reason nowadays that i want my own laptop but that will never happen.... i'm wondering now if someone would give me a brand new good laptop.... hahaha maybe my aunt will suddenly give me the money for it or buy me one... hahaha like that will ever happen... hahahaha* then i got scolded OF COURSE
and she said that she is nice already.... she asked me to study OF COURSE! and this always annoys me plus the additional situation from number 3.
i never had the urge to study and then never made the effort.
then comes the mother thing and BANG made me more reluctant to study....
i had been comforting friends bout their studies and still i myself am not taking my own advice.
7. I'm such a lousy person.Always a lousy one.
I feel that there's more to what i'm feeling now but like what my title of this post says....
maybe to put it into images, it's easier...
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