Dental.......

heys,

i'm feeling depressed right now.

Today just felt like a long day.

I woke up at about 8.

Printed out some documents for uni,

went to Dickson to pay some bills,

Returned some DVDs borrowed from the public library,

had my dental appointment,

went to uni for my workshop which lasted for 3 hours,

went to a supermarket to get some batteries,

had dinner and now i'm at the laptop.

the main reason im feeling depressed right now is about my dental appointment.

The cost of the appointment is about AUD$150 but i had only paid AUD$90.

(due to insurance, manage to get it cheaper)

The cost is expensive but this time, my dental appointment had not only the dentist to check

my teeth but also x-ray it.

For the past week, i had been feeling slight pain at my gums.

it comes and go and i told the dentist about it.

The dentist then briefed me on my teeth and said that my teeth looks fine.

I was asked if i had any major examinations going on or i fell sick in the past few weeks.

I said nope and i was told to watch out and in the next 2 weeks if i still have to go back and

he will refer me to a specialist.

the check up was AUD70 while the x-ray was AUD$42 each (x-rayed 2 sides) = AUD$150-ish

dad was furious when he found out the amount of money paid

and he kept on saying that the people out there are money minded and doesn't care at all & etc...

i felt angry and sad.

To me, i felt that the money paid was worth it.

My teeth are important to me. (i have my reasons but i now choose not to type it all out)

dad said that the dentist is money minded - yea, so? i know they can be money minded but the dentist did it to find out the cause of the pain i've been feeling.

Dad said they didn't care - if they didn't care, at least they showed that they actually cared for me/ my teeth. They even remembered what was our conversation topic the last time i had a check up (that was about end of last year!)

At least they remember and showed that they care for me, not like dad who cares more for his money than his own daughter.

I wouldn't mind forking up the money from my bank account then to pay for my appointment.

sigh.

i'm also having a massive headache right now.

I've been having it since 2/2.30pm and it's now at night.

i'm really hoping that this helps in lessening the sad feelings i have right now....

but it doesn't seem to be effective....

i guess i'll just have to let time do its job.

i'm sorry to you readers for this sad and depressing post.

i promise that i'll come back with a happier post next time round.

c u then.

Top 5 songs

Yup, the below are my top 5 songs that i have been listening to frequently~

5. Maze - Savage Genius (Pandora Hearts OST)

4. No More - A'ST1

3. Run Devil Run - Girls Generation (SNSD)

2. Don't Forget - Baek Ji Young

1. Bad Girl Good Girl - Miss A

Have you found Paris?

I had not intended to blog at 3 in the morning but I do want to voice what I am about to write. Another reason to why I am blogging this is also to remind of myself of what I had learnt.

I have always been the type of girl who would laugh when a story is funny, cry when the story is sad or touching but never had I felt pain in my chest and tears not being able to freely flow due to it. It was like, feeling too much pain, surpassing the stay where tears could flow.

I had watched many movies, Korean dramas, I had read novels after novels (romance novels to be exact and in two languages too), laughed many laughs and cried many tears but it is my first to feel such pain, such pressure, such a feeling that I can’t really describe and cried tears that are different yet the same. The best I could describe it is that I was feeling pain. It’s the only thing I could find to describe it.

If you are wondering, what has happened to me?

Welcome to the Underworld has happened to me.

It is a fanfiction written by Con.template.

It revolves around two main characters named Choi Yoori and Kwon Tae Hyun in the Underworld and the struggles between two people and… love.

The characters are made up and the word fanfiction doesn’t do justice for it. It would be a fiction but then that doesn’t really do as well.

I would say that it’s an artwork.

Con.template had made me go through a journey full of humor, twists, friendship, loyalty, tragedy, triumphs, sadness and happiness and I can’t thank you (Con.template) enough for having posted your work online. This will be one of the very pieces that I will remember for a vey long time.

I had read remarkable fanfictions such as Undertones of Forever, Sunshower, Midnight City, Fist & Lipstick, Wedding Wrecker, Conversations between Us, The Bartender and the Beast, Joie de Vivre(joys of life) and so on. I had spent a lot of my time reading them until the wee hours in the morning, I enjoy them but after reading Welcome to the Underworld, I can say that it’s different from the rest. It might be just me but it does feel that Welcome to the Underworld IS different from the rest.

Just to let you know if you’re lost and wondering what on earth am I writing here.

I apologise for doing so. This post is actually mainly posted to be a reminder to me.

There’s also another thing you should know (for those who are going to continue reading what I am about to type) is that I’m the type of person that once I take up a novel to read, I would not put it down. Not if I HAVE to. In many cases when I was in the middle of a book (I would mean novel/story by that – it would never happen to me with a text book) and my parents are calling and bugging me to leave my room, my mood will be changed instantly and I’ll be an unpleasant person to meet... unless it was ultimately my choice of putting the book down for a break. I tend to immerse myself into the story, taking the journey together with the characters and grow with them throughout the story from beginning to the end.

So hopefully to those who had read my post until now, understands what kind of reader I am and the fact that I mentioned a few of the fanfics above means that they are actually good. Apart from that, I’m a communication student as well and I had taken a course on understanding media so I do know the few theories taught and I can understand the pieces wrote better than I used to.

Now that I had finished Welcome to the Underworld and had written about 650 words after reading it, I’m trying to find out the reason to why do I feel such feelings I mentioned earlier from reading the last chapters.

The part that I could think of is the fact that until today, I had not shown much love interest to the opposite gender. I had not thought about finding a partner, I had not thought of marriage, what more children. Friends around tells me about their love life and their wishes to find that special someone but I had not once shown interest. In terms of crushes, I had a few back in my school days but it only lasted for a short period of time(when I say short, it means real short).

I do wonder about it some time and the most bizarre thing that I thought was that I could be a lesbian. What other explanation could I get from thinking about the above? Especially right now that I am in Australia, it’s not a big issue being a lesbian here and people here are not afraid to show it. Then again if I were so then why do I read romance story one after another. It doesn’t seem right to me. Well, I am after all the weirdest in my group of friends….

Well, after reading welcome to the Underworld, I can say that i think I found the reason to what I had written 2 paragraphs up. I never did open myself up to love. My mother had timelessly ask me to leave my own bubble and face the world. I had been locked up safely in my own world, playing my own fantasy and never really did step out of it. It could be that Im afraid of it. I never experienced it and I couldn’t, wouldn’t dare go near it.

Reading about the love in Welcome to the Underworld had showed me that love is worth it despite the fact that it doesn't conquer all. Love is also about sharing and caring for another and I guess it will change a selfish person (like me). With what was said, I reckon I’d try finding Paris as well…..

It will take time. It’ll be hard for me as well to actually step out of my own world but as what Con.template had mentioned over and over again throughout her work, "No one said finding Paris would be easy; they only said it would be worth it."

To those who are curious and want to read Welcome to the Underworld, please head to http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=218805.

And to those who had read my post until here, I thank you. If you feel that I’m weird or even shocked at what I had written, I wont apologise as I had mentioned that this post is a reminder for me in the future so it’s a read at your own risk post. Hahahaha

If I were to put read at your own risk at the very top, you would read the whole post anyway knowing you. We’re just humans aren’t we? We do what we are especially told not to do except for certain cases. Some say curiosity kills the cat as well. Okay enough of this…

Before I end, I would like to thank Con.template once again for the beautiful piece that had changed/started to change my way of life.

And I wouldn’t forget to thank Jane and Jamie for getting me the chance to read Welcome to the Underworld. Thank you Jamie for the any good fanfics to read question and Jane for recommending it.

Khamsa Hamnida.

Arigatou Gozaimasu.

It’s pretty late so I’ll be ending this long winded post here.

“Have you found Paris?”

"You'll tell me what it feels like, right? When you find Paris?".

mobile photos - 6/8/2009

hey all!
while i was going through my stuff on my thumbdrive,
i came across loads of photos that i intend to share but i totally forgot about it...
XP

so here i am now, trying to post it to share it with you guys!!!

the pictures below are taken using my phone so some of it is not clear.
they are the cupcakes prepared for iFocus on 2009.
it's all so pretty and cute!

FYI, i did not eat all of it.
The one i ate is the cupcakes in the last picture.
I took that because it has the least icing on it...
hehehe

i'm not really into sweet stuff so i tend to choose cupcakes that are not too sweet.

1st Official baked cake 7/8/2010

hey guys,

as the title said, i had baked my 1st official cake.
I've baked cakes before but they are all either from pre-mixed packets or i had my mum do it with me.

this time round, i baked the cake from scratch by myself with a little guidance from my mum.

oh and if you are wondering what cake it is?
it's a strawberry, marmalade sponge cake.
XP

and if you are wondering about the icing,
i didn't have enough cream so i only have it on the top.

The pictures below are taken with care.... XP
I wanted to try taking pictures like how professionals do...
i tried taking pictures on different locations and lightning.
after taking the pictures, i just added in my name at the bottom of each picture.
so how did i do?
does it look professional too?
XP

Perisher - 1/8/2010

As mentioned in the last post.....
here are some of the pictures taken on that day for the trip to perisher.

to those who are reading and is my friend on facebook, the pictures here are mostly the ones that i had uploaded there...
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i wont type anymore so i'll let the pictures do the talking.

Thank yous~

Hello again!

i just noticed that i have 2 new followers~

thank you pink_pokadots_xox and faberdrive90 for following this blog....

haha

i never thought that people would want to read what i write anyway....

to nicolas and jamie, thank you very much for 'following' me for such a long time...

^____________^

okay, originally i wanted to post the pictures that i took at perisher but each time the window pops up for me to upload photos, my whole server crashes...

i'll have to wait for a few more days to post it. Most likely, i would post it up when i'm at uni.

the internet is better at uni but the downside is i will have to keep on adding credit into my uni internet account for every MB i use...

sigh

I'll see you all soon and thanks for reading!!!!!

*hugs*

it's been awhile....

hey there my fellow readers...

my, i sound so...... weird 0o0

anyway, I couldn't believe how fast time flew by.

The last time i post was on the trip to snowy mountains... that was in may

and now????

its august!

I've been busy with my assignments but for the past week, i've been having my break.

My first few days of break was good...

On thursday last week, it was officially the first day of my break even when my classes stopped on tuesday.

The reason why i said it was due to me having to be the MC for iFocus (christian Fellowship in Uni)

It's just a small group of.... usually 10 people who attend. so it's not that big and i'm still learning....

i'm actually petrified about speaking in front of people and i'd just freak out.

I sorta volunteered for the MC-ing just so that i could practice speaking to a group of people.

I noticed my presentation for assignments are getting better too.

i would usually read, i mean really READ my text when i was in front of the class.

last tuesday(my last day of class for Winter Term),

my group and I had to present our group work that is related to how we were to rebrand our Uni's Faculty of Arts and Design to the market.

We had to not only present it to the class and our tutor but also to the DEAN of the faculty and his MARKETING TEAM.

It was so scary!!!!

The reason why i said i improved a little in my presentation was due to the presentation. I noticed that throughout my speech, i had at least looked up at the audience throughout my speech.

Okay, i know you guys might think it's nothing but to me it feels like a really big leap from having my eyes always glued to the speech in my hands to sometimes looking at the audience.

so.... back to the main topic at hand.

my break kicked start on thursday night and the very next day, i went to a fellow christian friends place for dinner. the evening that day, i even learned to make a dessert and i prepared it for dinner. It was a fruit,rice-custard pudding.

Erm, it might not sound good but i've received good comments from those who had tried it.

Not just that, when my mum made it, all those who ate it had 2nd and 3rd helpings.

Then, on sunday that week -which was last sunday, my family went to Perisher!

We went there with a couple of malay families.

It was enjoyable apart from the waiting for the other families.

We left the house at 6.30am to reach at the meeting point at 7am.

we then journeied to Cooma, our pit-stop. The other families rented some boots from a hire store.

We then continued on our journey and reach an area near our destination at about 11-ish, 12-ish in the afternoon. We had our lunch and changed.... and proceeded to our destination which is Perisher.

on the way climbing up Perisher, we had to stop to fit on snow chains to continue on.

that process nearly took up an hour. the real disappointing thing is, the snow chain my dad bought did not fit the car's tyres.

apart from that, we saw snow!!!!

i mean FRESH SNOW FROM THE SKY!!!!!

kids ran out of their cars and took pictures and ran around while the men still trying to fit the snow chains.

then the reall dissappointment came which was, my family could continue to drive up to the lookout where there are more snow. there were ppl guarding the road and they only allow 4-W drives and snow chain fitted 2-W drives up. In the end, my family stayed at the stop where the guards were.

The rest went up to the lookout.

My family left at about 2.30pm to drive back down to the nearest town. There we slept for a bit.

We continued to wait until 7PM!!!! i repeat 7PM! for the other families to get to us.

I turned out that the rest was stuck in the blizzard.

We all then journeyed to my dad's friend's place for dinner at 10+ at night....

by the time my family reached home, it was close to midnight...

that sure was a tiring day.

the next few days was alright. i was just lazing around at home until yesterday (thursday)

my brother and i went over to a friend's place for dinner. it's a really small group but we had fun chatting over dinner.

and today... i'm blogging!!!!

hahaha

it's been ages since i last updatted my blog so i decided to post something... haha

i'll upadate again and the next time, it will be pictures from perisher!!!!

BTW, Perisher and Snowy Mountain are 2 different places~

c u all soon!!