Do I let you go?

Hi…… again.

Okay, my mum told me my grandma is coming over for a visit.
Yes my grandma…. My long lost grandma.
It had been 9 years since I last seen her and the last occasion that I
Met her was my beloved step-aunt’s funeral.
I’m not trying to be sarcastic bout the beloved step-aunt part.
I really meant it.
Even though I had only spent a few years knowing her,
I grew to love her and she was n is my MOST fav aunt when compared
To my aunts at my father’s side.
……
Wait.
I don’t have any fav aunt at my father’s side. So that makes it she’s my
ONLY favourite aunt.

I was 10 when she passed away.
I managed to attend her wedding dinner though.
It was barely 3 months after her wedding before she passed away.
After that, I never went to Singapore.
FYI, my grandma lives in Singapore, so does my step-aunt and step-uncle.
The reason why to me having a step aunt and uncle is bcos,
My grandma divorce her first husband and married another.
My mum and uncle is the children of her husband while… you can guess.
For all the years, my mum and grandma had not been in contact.
Suddenly here she is contacting us and said she wanna come visit.

You know what I feel like?
I feel like shouting!
She’s been ignoring us all these years and now she’s coming?
Wanna say sorry? NO!
She’s only coming to visit is because my step-uncle has been transferred to Sydney.
So the main reason to why she is visiting is b’cos her oh-favourite son is in Sydney.

Then if he’s not transferred here means she will never come to visit us?
If not, she will never care for this family?
My brother and I are her only grandchildren and here she didn’t contact us.

I hate it.
And my mum is all forgiving
“she’s my mother and the bible says that we should honour your parents”
That’s what she says.
I cant stand this.

Oh and you know what? She had already arrived and spent the weekend here.
My step-uncle is nice to talk to.
He’s still single and my step- aunt never had the chance to conceive due
to cancer and died. That’s why my brother and I are her only grandchildren.
We watched movies together…. Of course from the computer!
Hahaha cinemas here are expensive.

I had actually not made any body contact with my grandma.
She talks non stop here. And she does help my mum in the kitchen when she cooks for us.
I guess she’s catching up with my mum? Or she is feeling sorry….

I do wonder if she regrets it….
I wonder is she did actually miss us…
My uncle is not in talking terms with my grandma
So I say, serves her right?

I dunno…
I got so many emotions about this….
I hate to think a bout it.
It only makes me angry.

I’ll just stop here.