rant

I'm here to release my frustrations this time round.

I'm dead tired now actually and it's time for bed but i cant go to sleep just yet.

I've still need to memorise my speech for tomorrow's presentation, I still need to clean the house for the house inspection tomorrow.

The thing i dont like about sharing houses is when the others does not pull their own weight in cleaning the house. It's winter term and everyone is suppose to clean the house but it seems that its only me that cleans it most of the time.

Once in awhile another would help me.

I'me already sick and tired of being the one that mostly takes out the trash.

After the bin has been left even when its full, more trash still ends up on it and it just becomes really heavy to bring out. For the pass 3 weeks i have been taking the trash out.

I dont know what else to say already. Im really going to break down if the admin charge me cleaning fee if the condition of the house is not up to their standards.

apart from that, i had seemed to loose my motivation to study.

I know that i dont really have the right to complain about this but I just really want to say it out hoping that i might feel much better after this.

I so far had not had a real break since the beginning of the year when the semester started.

even when there was public holidays or a no class period, i had been stressed in trying to finish off the assignments.

I really dont know how all workers are able to work through the year and I dont hear a single complain about it.

the people around are on break but i had taken the internship unit to lessen my study load for semester 2 resulting in no breaks at all. I guess i really brought it onto myself.

I couldn't not take up winter term as my timetable last year was messed up due to the clashing of timetables so i'm still stuck doing winter without break.

i'm right now afraid of what might happen when i do finish my studies.

i'm also afraid of failing my subjects that i'm currently taking.

i'm afraid of not getting a job to support myself.

i'm afraid of going back.

i'm afraid of moving forward.

i'm afraid of just about loads of things.

i now do noticed that i've lived a really sheltered life thanks to my parents.

They had kept in safe from harm and i'm now here about to step into the real world.

i do know that i'm i dare not take that step but i had to.

i can't be stagnant as time waits for no one.

I don't know what to do already....

i'm even making myself feeling more depressed now.

I should stop. I do hope that a good sleep would help.

fingers crossed.

i really should get back to doing what i need to do if not the night would even be longer

= an even grumpier me.

i shall be back when the time is better....

PS: sorry ppl for having to read this is you had. hope you all had/ will have a better outlook of life